I Surrender

I tried....really I did. I tried to explain to Sassafras that, even though we were getting a new baby, she would still be loved and cared for just the same. She could stay the Queen and how fun it would be to have another baby in the house. She did not look convinced. She will just have to learn, because this Friday our new baby comes home. He/She is the little calico getting the bath.
Life will be interesting for a while, for sure. ;)
Even without the new addition, it has been an interesting season here.
You all know how the focus around here is on Charlotte during the halloween season. Not this year. We are virtually ignoring the behaviors, which makes them of no effect, and my own personal focus is on my OWN walk with God. Ten and a half years of battles and just the daily life of dealing with a traumatized child has taken it's toll on me. I wish you all would have known me "when". When life was different. Not easy, as back "when", I dealt with a child who seizured 100+ times a day for 12 years. Still I was STRONG spiritually. My faith was HUGE....I walked the walk and talked the talk and my focus was NEVER on the negative, but always on what God's Word said about things....God's Word said, Kyle was healed by the stripes of Jesus, (Isaiah 53:5, 1 Peter 2:24) and that when those who were sick sought to touch Him, ALL were healed...not some but ALL (Luke 6:19) So I sought to touch Him for Kyle. You could NOT convince me, no matter how hard you tried, that Kyle would NOT be healed of seizures or that his hearing would not be restored. I heard others pray, "if it is God's will" and would rebuke those words inside myself and claim what God's Word said. "IF" shouts unbelief. God's Word said Kyle was healed, so that was what I said too!!!! Did he still seizure? For 2 years after my faith had been built to this point (through the hearing of the Word....cause faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God...Romans 10:17) I watched Kyle seizure....then one day they were gone. Professionals spoke unbelief and doubt into our lives and said he would never go more than 3 months. Sure enough 3 months later he had 3 little seizures. My faith did not fail me. I claimed God's Word in Nahum 1:9 which says affliction shall not rise up a second time! Those seizures stopped that same day! You see, you can find a promise in the Word concerning any thing you are going through. So where is that lady of faith??? She disappeared. It was such a slow process, I didn't even notice it happening. I gave place to the devil. My focus became on the enemy and what he was doing instead of what God says! In all of that, Kyle had a grand mal seizure. He had been seizure free for YEARS and all of a sudden BAM....and grand mal at that! How did I handle that? Fear. I was full of it! God was still, ever so, merciful and Kyle has not had a seizure since. Why did He allow it to happen in the first place? Maybe to wake my faith up! It didn't work. I was so mired down in my fear and Charlotte's trauma and the fact that my life was so messed up in all that, my faith stayed dormant.
So this season, instead of focusing on all the negative, I am focusing on God's Word and what He says about my life. What does He say? I am gathering promises everyday. He says I am more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37) and that no weapon formed against me will prosper (Isaiah 57:17)and that my battle is not against flesh and blood (Charlotte) but against the enemy and that God has given me the weapons of warfare. All I need is there for me. (Ephesians 6:11-13 and 2 Corinthians 10:3-5) and that NOTHING can separate me from His love (Romans 8:38-39). Building faith. We build our faith through His Word. That is where I am this season. Mountains are going to move around here....I can feel the ground shaking already!
Before I close this post, I had a visit from the grandkids this weekend. I looked out my window and saw little boys sitting still and knew something was amiss.....

Nope...just "connecting" with their games.This sweet little girl brightened the day like no one else could!It was a nice day and I look forward to having them for an overnight next Friday. THAT should be interesting....a new kitten AND grandkids! Faith is coming just in time! ;)
My new favorite picture......