How Firm A Foundation?

I was playing Angry Birds with Zachary the other day...we have a competition going....and I realized, if you hit the foundation of the structures, they tumble easily! It is simple physics, but in aiming at those pigs, you can forget that. It hit me that over the last 11 years of my life, that is exactly what has happened to me. My foundation began to get chipped away at....by what? By life, the enemy, maybe even God Himself in some areas. My foundation was strong....what was my life built on? We all have the choice on what our foundation is made of and where those pieces fit. My foundation was built on God, of course, but that was not my entire foundation....One of the largest building blocks of my foundation was motherhood. I had HUGE bricks of confidence in this area. I was a REALLY GREAT MOTHER. It was so strong infact, that I actually made this the cornerstone of my foundation. Another area my life is built on is my marriage. 33 years very soon. To the same man. There is a brick of pride built in that area of my foundation. My church....before I moved back to my hometown, my Pastor, church family, and church were a HUGE part of what I built my life on. And family and friendship...that was, and is, a big area of my foundation. The largest area, remains my relationship with Christ....but it was not the cornerstone of my foundation. So 11 years ago, we moved here. Within 3 months, we had Charlotte. Life would never again be the same. Her illness became an earthquake in my life. Shifting my ground and shaking my foundation. Because I had not built a strong enough one, it began to crack and crumble. My church was gone, along with my pastor and church family. That took a huge chunk out of my already misplaced bricks. I attended church, but my foundation had been built with MY church....the one that was gone. My cornerstone of motherhood, and the other strong areas of my foundation stood strong...My relationship with my Saviour, which included my daily time in His Word and prayer and journaling my time with Him....those things along with my family and friends. Friends....oh yeah. They were all back in McHenry. Here I had no friends, but I did have family, along with my strong, earthquake-resistant marriage! That slot that was left open from the loss of my church? I filled it quickly with my son's wife and then added bricks around that of my grandchildren. Who needed church, right? The first thing that happens when you parent a child with reactive attachment disorder, is the part of your life you have built on motherhood starts getting chipped at....picture Angry Birds flying and hitting the concrete part of the foundation....one bird just gets knocked off, but after time, and so many birds, cracks start to happen.Now my life can handle some cracks. We all get bombarded with hits to our foundation. It is the cornerstone that will hold everything in place. Sadly, I based my life on being this incredibly great mom. THAT was my cornerstone. It was WHO I WAS. In this case, it did not matter, how well I fed this child, or how many stories I read her at bedtime, or how many hugs and kisses and "I love you"'s were passed out. Darling outfits, and shiny shoes, all mixed with hair ribbons and bright healthy teeth and bones, did not matter. I was failing....BADLY. Once that happened, everything else began to crumble.....my entire life was shaken.
My friendships were non existent....I would not allow it. Life was too out of control to allow new friendships in, and the old ones were far away. My daughter in law was gone with the end of my son's marriage. I had made her a very large part of my foundation....so large, my entire foundation shifted when she was no longer there, and I almost came undone. Family relationships began to break down. RAD does that....it triangulates, and with the large cracks in my foundation, I could not stand against it. My marriage remained in tact, but there were cracks forming there too. Life was shifting. My relationship with God was suffering great hits caused by a tsunami of anger, bitterness and unforgiveness.
Throughout the years, I have done some patching of cracks, and some superficial repairs. I have tried to make my life pleasing to God with the spackle of outward appearances and have "duct taped" areas by trying to follow His laws, instead of allowing His grace to come in and do the repairs correctly.
A while ago I realized, it is all out of my control. That cornerstone of Motherhood-ego is completely gone. It is powder and dust. That is NOT my end. I could tumble and my life could be in ruins, or I could ask my Jesus to move to that place in my foundation that is the corner stone...that place that holds up and protects the other areas that my life is built on. He did just that! I am not perfect in my life or my foundation, but I am standing strong, and tall, and my hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus Blood and righteousness!
How firm a foundation!!